Nonverbal cues that I project to others are my body language, the way I walk, my facial expressions, dress style and my mental attitude. My body language that I present is to be serious. I always act and seem serious and may put off some people because of my no nonsense style but I am a fun loving guy. Having a serious demeanor doesn't always say "hey, how are you?" but it does stray away the people that tend to push other people around. I also cross my arms with my serious face so it may look like I am not happy most of the time. But once people get to know me I am a happy, fun loving person who makes people laugh.
I dress as an athlete would dress. An athletic shirt with basketball shorts. I have always dressed like this, ever since high school. I was a baseball player inhigh school so I started to dress like an athletic type but I carried it on to now, where I am a baseball coach. I wear it to show I am an athletic person and have an active lifestyle.
I walk with a normal stride. I take my time wherever I am going, so I am never in a rush. I am not a tall guy with long legs, so I have to utilize my legs as much as possible. Sometimes I do waddle or walk at a slowpace but that is due to flat feet and old sports injuries that effect my walk.
My facial expressions are of a serious nature. I do smile but I usually have a serious, no nonsense look on my face. The seriousness was developed when I was younger and when I didn't have a lot of pleasent experiences in my life at the time. I didn't want to present myself as being sad, so I put on the persona of having a serious and mysterious lifestyle. But I have strayed away from being so serious lately to having a more fun and lively persona. I think laughter is the best medicine when a person is sad or feeling depressed.
My mental attitude is always to stay positive and to minimize the negativities in a person's life. There will always be negatives in life. We just have to minimize them and control them as much as we can, so it does not have a significant impact in our lives. I don't like dealing with people who are negative and degrading. I think it is not a good way to live. Negativity adds stress and I try to eliminate it by being positive or reassuring others to stay positive in a trying situation. Being positive always seems to be good for me, as it helps me deal with my emotions. I also stay positive when I am coaching. There can be times where players make mistakes and they hang there heads. So I tell them to stay positive to lift their spirits and their will be other opportunities to make a good play. We all make mistakes, whether it is on a playing field or in life, and we must always stay positive and hope for a better outcome or scenerio.
I agree that laughter is the best medicine. My godfather, growing up, use to tell me that if you found something to laugh at in hard times, you will live a longer happier life. I don't know if that is true, but I do know that I have always been an optimistic person and do not let many things bother me. I love to laugh and I smile a lot.
ReplyDeleteIt is too bad that you had so many bad experiences in your life, but I think it is great that you stay positive about things and find the time to laugh.
I can see how the serious demeanor probably strays people away from you. If I were to see someone outside the classroom that looked really serious, I probably would not say anything to them unless it was about the class or something serious. I would not be able to just start a conversation like many people do outside the classroom while waiting. By seeing such a serious person I would probably not guess that you were the fun loving person you described yourself as.
Most of the time people incorporate crossing their arms as more of a negative type of body language. You mentioned that you cross your arms with a serious face. I actually cross my arms when I am listening to someone. If someone does not know me, they would probably think I was mad or something else of the sort.
I found this particular blog to be so amusing. You definitely painted a picture for your readers and although I have never met you or seen you, I am willing to bet that I could point you out in a crowd lol. I found your blog to be very personable. I can actually relate to what your saying about the athletic attire however I am always trying to find a way out of it rather than prolonging it. That could just be because I am a girl though and what girl wants to dress like a tom-boy everyday! Not me! haha I too have faced similar first impressions. People automatically assume that I am stand offish or intense or not very nice. That is not me at all. I too am very easy going and fun loving and once people get to know me they are usually blown away. I think that the style of clothes you choose to wear is a huge contributor to non verbal cues and how people perceive you. The crossing of your arms and serious face I guess doesn’t really help haha. It’s good that you are able to communicate your real personality to people. Due to non verbal cues and miscommunication some people never really get the opportunity to express their true self.
ReplyDeleteYou know I can honestly say I know how you feel Ryan. I actually have a similar issue with being too serious because of the way I grew up and the type of people I was around. However instead of adopting a positive attitude I adopt a "neutral" attitude; not allowing my emotions control my actions. I also adopt a "I'm walkin' here, you gotta problem" kind of stride implying that if someone is going to give me their mess, I won't have it. I also do not dress like a "Black Guy" would dress, which also contributes to friction between me and certain people whom are still stuck upon using stereotypes to define a certain ethnic group.
ReplyDeleteBut that's just how I go about with my business, and not everyone is settled with my style. Like a river calm with nothing within its path, but becomes a fierce rapids when faced with excessive obstruction trying to deface my path. However this is actually a quite rare occassion now should anyone try to question my style and my usual answer would be: "this is how I roll, if you got a problem with that then I can fix that". But that's just how I am.